


I'm a Frigging Chick!

by PsychoticSlytherin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Comfort Sex, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, M/M, Pre-Slash, Pregnancy, Self-Harm, Slash, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy, supernatural universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:39:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoticSlytherin/pseuds/PsychoticSlytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You've got to be freaking kidding me." Dean said as he stared into the mirror at his reflection. </p><p>"What the hell, Sam?" He spat in a too high voice that was undoubtedly not his as he turned angrily to look at his brother. </p><p>Sam was looking at him uncomfortably, biting his lip as if he wasn't sure whether to laugh or be worried.</p><p>"Dude, I don't know." He said shaking his head, "one minute you're fine, just unconscious, and by the time I got us back here, you...just...you were...that." Sam said, waving his hand in a manner that was supposed to make everything make sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story takes place after season 5, during season 6, but is non Canon compliant with season 6. Let me know what you think of the story, what I should improve on, and if you have any ideas on where I should take it. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except the weird and twisted plot that my brain spits out

"You've got to be freaking kidding me." Dean said as he stared into the mirror at his reflection. 

"What the hell, Sam?" He spat in a too high voice that was undoubtly not his as he turned angrily to look at his brother. 

Sam was looking at him uncomfortably, biting his lip as if he wasn't sure whether to laugh or be worried.

"Dude, I don't know." He said shaking his head, "one minute you're fine, just unconscious, and by the time I got us back here, you...just...you were...that." Sam said, waving his hand in a manner that was supposed to make everything make sense. 

"And you're sure she's dead?" 

"Yeah...she's dead "

"Fuck!" Dean swore as he dusted his hands through his hair that was now shoulder length, and quickly let go when he was reminded that it wasn't his hair. "Frigging witches."

Sam shrugged, "We could call Cas. I'm sure he'll have you back to normal in no time." 

"No."

"Come on Dean, I doubt Cas will care that you've turned into a -girl-. " He said, sniggering and then quickly stopped when that recieved a glare from Dean. 

"No, Sam. Absolutely not." He said, looking at his reflection again. There was no way he'd let Cas see him like this, especially when there was -- well he didn't exactly know what was going on between them, but he could figure that out once he had his dick back. 

Sam sighed as he pulled out his cell phone, "Alright, well I'm calling Bobby then, why don't you go take a shower or something, there's blood all over you." 

Nodding reluctantly, Dean headed to the bathroom and got undressed, frowning when he looked his naked body over in the mirror. Hes never felt so uncomfortable in his own body and being a chick was just....just weird. 

'Damn I'm one hot chick,' he thought to himself, briefly appreciating the toned womanly body he had been given. He looked down at his fairly average sized breasts and tentatively gave them a squeeze. Amused, Dean giggled....wait, giggled? Dean did not giggle. Ever. 

He then heard a knock on the bathroom door, "Uhh Dean? Are you...uhh...are you okay in there?"

Dean frowned, of course Sammy heard that. "Yeah..uhh..fine." he grunted out, trying to make his voice lower like it usually was, only managing to sound like he was constipated. 

Deciding it was too weird to explore his new body now, Dean hopped in the shower to scrub off the blood so he could get dressed as soon as possible. 

He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom, not remembering about the fact that he had breasts until he saw Sam's look of shock, embarrassment, and revulsion all in one. 

"Dude!" Sam yelled, covering his eyes.

Dean shrugged, "Sorry man, I forgot." He casually said as he threw on a t-shirt. "So did you talk to Bobby?" He asked as he struggled with finding a belt that would hold up his now extremely huge pants. 

Sam shook his head, finally chancing looking over at his brother...sister? "He didn't pick up. I uhh....got help though." He said, pointing to the door which Castiel was standing right in front of. 

Dean froze when he saw the angel and promptly glared daggers at Sam. "I told you not to call him, Sam." He snapped angrily. 

"Sam did not call me, Dean." Cas said, staring at him with his deep blue eyes, "I don't understand what the problem is." He said, directing his statement at Sam. 

Sam laughed incredulously, "You don't - Cas he's -"

"I'm a frigging chick!" 

Castiel looked back over at Dean, "I am aware." He said, tilting his head a bit, still apparently not understanding what the issue was. 

"You- Cas, I'm supposed to be a dude." Dean snapped, attempting to fold his arms over his chest but his boobs kept getting in the way, so he settled for his hands in his hips. 

Cas nodded, "It is unusual... but I assumed it was not a big deal because your soul remains pure...you are still the righteous man that I pulled from Hell. " 

Sam looked away awkwardly, to Dean's relief, because he could feel the flush creep up on his cheeks as Cas continued to stare at him. 

"C-Cas...you don't.. I'm not...My soul isn't pure." He said, his throat hoarse. 

Cas gave him a small smile, "I would not lie to you about that, Dean." 

Sam cleared his throat, "So...uhh.. Cas, can you help us with this or not?" 

Castiel frowned and walked over and stood right in front of Dean, just examining and concentrating. "I'm not certain. Whoever did this has hidden their energy signature....without it I cannot locate the source."

Cas' face was right in front of Dean's and he could feel that familiar pang of want in his stomach, "It was a witch, Cas, and uhh..personal space?" He said hoarsely. 

"Right." He said, stepping back and looking down a bit embarrassed. "It is unusual for me to be unable to read the witch's signature... " he said. "She must be very powerful. I will do some research and see what I can do." 

Before they could even blink, Castiel was gone.

Sam sighed as they looked where Castiel just was moments ago, "Right, well I suppose we should get you some clothes while we wait for Cas to come back."

Dean looked horrified, "What's wrong with these clothes?" He all but yelled.

"Dude, you look like a freaking hobo. Those are way too big. And I hate to tell you, but you need a bra." Sam said, pointing at Dean's chest area. Sure enough, when he looked down his nipples we're standing at attention and suddenly he was incredibly embarrassed. Not as much as Sam was of course, he thought with a grin as he saw Sam turn red before he left to take a quick shower.

Dean had to admit, being a chick for a bit would be interesting, as long as it wasn't permanent.


	2. Chapter 2

This was humiliating. Dean never had any problems taking off a bra, but putting one on was a completely different story. How the hell did women do it?! 

He twisted his arm around to try and clasp it in the back and ended up pulling a strap so hard that he accidentally let go of it and it snapped itself hard on his skin. Dean let out a high pitched squeal that he will vehemently deny ever making.

"Fuck!" He swore as he threw it onto the floor. 

Sam was standing awkwardly outside the door and when he heard his brother...sister...scream he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know what was hhappening. Dean was trying on bras...how hard could that be?

"Uhh...Dean, is everything okay?" Sam asked, knocking on the door a bit.

"I can't get this on. Get me something else. This one is crap." He said, throwing the bra out to his brother.

Sam was about to laugh when he looked down and saw the state of the bra and Sam looked at him incredulously, "What the hell, Dean? How did you even manage to rip it?!" 

Dean shrugged, "Just get me something that's easier to put on." 

"Fine." Sam said, coming back not even a minute later with a sports bra. He threw it into Dean's changing room, "Try this."

"Why do I even need one of these, Sam? They seem like they're more trouble than they're worth." He said as he picked up the bra off the floor and eyed it suspiciously. 

Sam shrugged, knowing Dean couldn't see him. "Do I look like the tit fairy? Supposedly it hurts to not wear one. That's what Jess always said at least."

Dean scoffed, "Well I bet she's never almost taken her eye out trying to put one of these things on. "

He was able to easily figure out how to put on this bra, and it felt way more comfortable than the othee ones he tried anyways. 

"Better?" He heard Sam call through the door. 

"Yeah." He grunted out as he put a fitted t shirt on over it.

"Good. Now hurry up so we can get out of here."

Half an hour later, Dean left the department store with three pairs of pants, seven t-shirts, underwear and a new pair of boots. Sam had even convinced him to get shampoo, conditioner, and a brush for his hair, to Dean's dismay. Although he did have to admit, it sounded preferable to washing his long hair with soap and spending an hour trying to detangle it.

 

"Let's get something to eat, man. Im starving." Dean said, throwing his bags into the backseat of the impala. 

Sam nodded, "Yeah, there's this salad place-"

"Hell no, Sammy. Just because I'm a chick, doesn't mean I'm going to eat chick food. " He said, driving up to a local Burger joint. 

"Dude, if you don't watch it, you'll get fat now." Sam said, smirking a bit. 

"Yeah, whatever, Sammy." He said, rolling his eyes before he made Sam go in to get their food.

Castiel was sitting on Dean's bed, waiting for them when they got back. 

"Cas! Thank God!" Dean exclaimed, throwing his shopping bags onto the floor. "Tell me you have good news! When do I get my dick back?" He asked the angel with a grin.

Cas stood up and looked uncomfortable, "Dean... This witch is ancient and very powerful. " he said, hesitating as he looked between Sam and Dean, "She has been around since before most of the angels were... I do not have enough power to reverse this... I am certain the only thing powerful enough to reverse it is the witch... and -"

"Shes dead. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of." Dean said as he felt his mouth go dry and a lump in his throat form, the anger, frustration and hurt evident on his face. 

"Dean. I will continue to search for a solution." Castiel said, frowning."There must be someone in heaven that can help."

Dean nodded, "Yeah. Okay. I'm just gonna...uhh...go out." He said, grabbing the keys to the impala and walking out the door. 

"Dean-" Sam started as he tried to stop him, only to have the motel door slammed in his face. 

"What now?" He said to Cas, as he sighed and turned around. Sam swore when he realized he was alone in the room.

Sam rolled his eyes, wondering why he even expected anything different.

Dean drove around for an hour before he decides to stop and get a drink. He just wanted this nightmare to end. The day seemed to get worse and worse everytime he found something else that was different about being a woman. Especially peeing. Peeing sitting down was the worst. 

Walking into the bar, Dean didn't notice that he was being checked out by literally every man in the bar. If he did, he would probably have been creeper out because he definitely wasn't gay. Thinking Cas was attractive didn't mean he was gay. 

"What can I get ya?" The blonde bartender asked with a friendly smile as he sat down.

"Whiskey, please." He said frowning when his thoughts went back to Cas. He kind of wished he had his company right now, it was probably the chick emotions bringing this out right now, but he really missed him. He'd never admit it out loud of course. Cas was usually gone, attending to "heaven duties" and Dean hardly saw him anymore. He'd thought they'd have gotten closer since the almost apocalypse, but apparently not enough to make the angel stay.


	3. Chapter 3

Groaning as he finished off his second glass of whiskey, Dean was silently freaking out. He shouldn't be feeling this drunk until his fourth glass, at least. 

"Fuck, I'm drunk." He said, standing up and swaying a bit.

The bartender laughed softly, "Well a girl your size wouldn't be expected to hold much, honey." She said, with a twinkle in her eye. 

Right. He was a girl. Dean looked down and grabbed his breasts. Yep. Still a chick. And he was a lightweight. He seriously did not think this night could get any worse. 

He tipped the woman behind the counter and decided to call it an early night before he got himself too wasted. 

Walking back to the impala, Dean realized he was way too drunk to drive and he left his phone at the motel so he couldn't call Sam.

Dean swore loudly. 

Would calling Cas now seem too needy? It wasn't actually a life or death situation, but Dean wasn't exactly partial to walking all the way back to the motel, drunk. 

"Uhh...Cas?" He called out, looking up to the sky, "Get your feathery ass down here pronto." 

After waiting a minute and Cas not showing up, Dean gave up and started walking. 

"Dammit, Cas." He swore as he started walking in the direction of the motel. "You're supposed to help me! I need you" He yelled angrily into the night, stumbling over a pothole in the road. He swore again as he hit the ground, ripping his new jeans and skinning his knee. 

Unexpectedly, Dean began to cry. Everything was just wrong and he wasn't sure how much of this fuckery he could take. He knew he was being a pussy, but hey, he had one now so he had that right.

"Dean." The familiar gravely voice came from behind him. 

"Cas." Dean all but whispered, looking up from where he fell onto the pavement. "Why didn't you come?" He demanded. 

"You're bleeding Dean," Castiel said, ignoring the question as he helped him up. 

"I'm also drunk. " He stated plainly trying to focus his tired eyes. He tried to stand on his own, but Dean was too drunk to even do that, so he grabbed onto Cas' arm. 

"I apologize, Dean. I did not realize how important your gender was to you. If I had known you would get yourself in such a state, I would've watched over you tonight." He said as he healed Dean's scrapes on his hands and knees. 

Dean giggled, (yes, giggled. He's a girl, apparently he does that now), "what, you're like my Knight in shining armor now?" 

Castiel tilted his head in the familiar 'im confused' way and promptly zapped them back to the motel. 

Sam was definitely not expecting them and practically fell out of the chair that he was sitting in. 

"Jesus, Cas. Warn me next time." He said, before spotting Dean. "What happened to Dean?" 

"I got drunk, Sammy!" Dean yelled, clutching onto Castiel's trenchcoat. He looked up at Cas, "You smell good, Cas." 

Cas could feel his cheeks turn pink briefly before he put Dean down onto his bed and angel-zapped him to sleep. 

"How much did he drink?" 

"I am not sure...I think Dean was not used to drinking in a different body... I'm sure had he been himself, he would've been just fine. " Cas said, looking over at Dean wearily as Sam nodded. 

"So did you find anything new about how to fix him?" Sam asked hopefully as he folded his arms over his chest.

Cas shook his head and looked down, embarrassed, "I've asked around heaven...but no one knows, or if they do, they do not wish to help." He said, furrowing his brow, "I should go look some more."

Sam shook his head, "No, take a break, Cas. Plus, I'm sure Dean will want you here when he wakes up."

Castiel nodded, "You go sleep, I'll watch over him." 

Sam nodded as he watched Castiel sit down in the chair next to Dean's bed, and got himself into bed and was asleep within minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up to the sound of Sam's gargantuan footsteps and he angrily shoved his head under the pillow, wishing Sam would either disappear, or turn into a rabbit.

"Shuddup, Sammy." He groaned, wishing he would fall back asleep. He literally thought he was going to die. He had never had a hangover this bad. He didn't remember a thing from the night before and his stomach felt....weird.

"You don't want to be a girl forever do you, Dean?" Sam asked as he took Dean's pillow and opened the curtains. "Rise and shine, princess." 

Dean groaned again. He had convinced himself that the whole sex change was a freakish dream...but apparently it wasn't. And apparently women don't handle hangovers as well as men do. Lifting his head up, he squinted a bit and tried to steady himself so he could get up. 

Sitting up, however, really messed up his stomach, because before he could process what was even happening, bile was rising to his throat and he was throwing up before he had a chance to get to the bathroom. 

"Ugh! Gross!" Sam shouted as he watched Dean vomit all over his bed. 

"Where's Cas?" Dean asked, refusing to move from his puke covered bed. 

"He went to go do more angel research.He stayed most of the night though." 

"Can you get him here?" Dean asked, rushing to the bathroom as he felt himself about to puke again. 

Sighing, Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the stench of vomit so he could call Castiel. 

"Uhh..Cas? Dean wants you here...I'm not sure why, but he's sick." He said, waiting for the angel to appear. 

"Dean is unwell?" Cas asked as he appeared behind Sam. 

"Yeah." He said, gesturing to the bed. Cas barely even looked at the bed before it was clean. In fact it was cleaner than when they checked in. 

"Thanks, Cas." Dean said, coming out of the bathroom. "Can you zap this hangover away?" 

Cas nodded and with a press of two fingers, Dean felt good as new...well, besides the fact that he was still a chick. 

"I should get back." Cas said, preparing to leave, but still standing around a bit awkwardly. 

"Why?" Dean demanded, furrowing his brow. "Can't heaven get on without you for a day or two?" 

Castiel tilted his head, "You wish for me to stay?"

"Well, yeah...you're my....our friend."

"I thought you wanted to be male again, Dean?" Cas said, looking into Dean's eyes, silently conveying the happiness he felt at him wanting him to stay. 

"I do...but none of us will get any answers sitting around..." Dean said, his cheeks turning red, "plus I want to get back on the road..."

Sam finally looked up from his laptop, "Well, I think we have a case. Not to far from here actually. Three missing people, all disappeared on a full moon." 

"Werewolf?"

Sam shrugged, "sounds like it. It's worth checking out." 

"Awesome." Dean said, as he began to pack up his new clothes and his old, male ones.

"I think we should wait a couple days though, Dean." Sam said, still not getting up from the desk. "You need to adjust to your new body before we get into any life or death situation. " he said, concern flashing all over his face.

Dean scoffed, "I'll be fine. I still know how to fight." 

"You obviously don't know your new body's limits, Dean You're just going to get yourself killed going in there." 

"I agree with Sam...You should practice in this form first Dean." Cas said, wincing when he saw the glare Dean threw at him. 

"Whatever. " Dean snapped, glaring at both of them. "You both know I can take care of myself." he said as he grabbed the keys to the impala and walked out to the parking lot. 

The impala wasn't there. 

Having a mini heart attack, Dean ran back inside their motel room. "Someone stole the impala!" 

Sam chuckled. "It's still at the bar Dean. Did you really forget that much from last night?" He teased.

Castiel strode forward and pressed his fingers do Dean's head and they were suddenly in front of the impala. 

Dean breathed a sigh of relief, "thank God."

Castiel looked puzzled, "God had nothing to do with it, Dean. I brought you here." 

Dran let out a small chuckle, then remembering that he was still mad at Sam and Cas, he got into his car an took off.

He had barely been driving for five minutes when Cas appeared in his front seat. 

"Dammint, Cas. I left because I wanted to be alone." 

"Shut up, Dean." Cas said, glaring at him. "Sam and I are both trying to protect you."

"I don't need protection." He said through gritted teeth as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Maybe not, but I will not allow you to become suicidal just because you're upset about your gender." 

Dean laughed, "Upset? That's an understatement. I'm freaking pissed, Cas. Do you know how bad it is to just wake up something you're not?"

Castiel sighed, "I understand, Dean. But you are alive and unharmed. That is what's important."

Dean's mouth opened to say something, but he couldn't think of anything to say to that so he closed it again and looked at Cas. 

"Cas.. I -"

"Yes Dean?" He looked at Dean, expectantly, as if he knew exactly what was on Dean's mind.

But Dean didn't know. He wasn't sure what to say to Cas right now. There were so many things that needed to be said, and Dean couldn't find the words. So he did the next best thing, he leaned over and gently pressed his lips against Cas'.


	5. Chapter 5

Feeling Castiel's soft lips against his, Dean felt as if he was in heaven, but he quickly came back down when he realized that Cas wasn't reciprocating. He felt his body still against his, and before Cas could even comprehend what was going on, Dean freaked out. The last thing Dean wanted was to comprimise their friendship just because he was developing feelings. There was no way in heaven or hell, that an angel would fall in love with him too. 

Dean's eyes widened. Did he really just think that? Since when has he been in love with Cas? Oh, who was he kidding, Dean has been in love from the very beginning. 

The kiss had ended as fast as it began, as Dean pulled back, his breathing heavy and cheeks turning red. 

"Shit, Cas. I'm sorry." Dean said, scrubbing his hands ober his face, wishing he waa anywhere but there. He looked over at the angel and saw Cas staring at him with his confused look. 

"What are you sorry for, Dean?" 

Dean took a deep breath and let out a nervous chuckle. "That. I - uhh...shouldn't have done that."

He began to feel more and more awkward the longer Cas stared at him, "Cas! Stop! Just look somewhere else. Its freaking me out." He bit out, regretting it almost as soon as he said it. This wasnt Cas' fault. He was the one who couldnt get control of his feelings. 

"Listen, Cas..." he began, glancing over to the passenger seat, and swore when it was empty. 

"Dammit." He yelled, hitting the steering wheel. Burying his head in his hands, Dean took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He wanted to talk to Cas, no, he needed to talk to him. But what would he even say? 'Oh hey Cas, sorry but I've got a big gay crush on you, nevermind the fact that I'm in a woman's body, but would you like to fuck?' Dean almost laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. 

"Fuck it." He said, turning the impala back on and he headed back to the motel. 

When he got inside, Sam was doing research just like he was when they left earlier. He looked up from his laptop with a questioning look. 

"Where's Cas?" 

Dean shrugged, throwing the keys onto the nightstand s Sam raised an eyebrow. 

"What happened?" 

Dean threw himself facefirst onto his bed and continued to ignore Sam. When Sam didnt say anything else, Dean looked up, surprised his brother would give up that easily, but to his dismay, Sam was sitting on the other bed, staring at him, waiting for him to speak. 

"What, Sam?" Dean snapped, sitting up and glaring at the other Winchester. 

"Tell me what happened." He said, with a look on his face saying he wasnt going anywhere until Dean opened up. 

Dean groaned, "Its none of your business, Sammy." 

"It is if I'm going to have to deal with your attitude for the next week."

"Fine. I just....probably ruined mine and Cas' friendship."

Sam groaned and put his face in his hands, "Oh my God, Dean. What did you say this time?" 

"Nothing!" Dean said before hesitating. "I - uhh...I kissed him.." he said, turning red again and quickly looking away from Sam. When he looked back at him, Sam looked exactly the same, and more importantly, not surprised. 

"And that ruined your friendship how...?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "obviously because Cas doesnt feel like that." 

Sam raised an eyebrow, "He told you this?" 

"Well, no...but I know he doesnt. Hes a freaking angel of the Lord and Im just Dean." 

"Dean....he rebelled from heaven for you...if you think thats normal for someone that doesnt have feelings for you, then you are an idiot." 

Dean glared, "shut up, Sam."

"I'm being serious Dean. You need to stop pushing him away."

Rolling his eyes, Dean threw a pillow at Sam. "I feel like my life is a freaking chick flick."

Sam sniggered, "Well you are a chick." He said, ducking from another thrown pillow before frowning again. "We should call him."

Dean sighed, "Yeah, sure, just let me take a nap first. This emotional crap is exhausting." 

\-------------—-----————

When Dean woke up thirty minutes later, he was greeted to some more intense staring from his angel. His angel. Apparently his mind referred to Castiel as his angel. Huh.

"Cas, why are you staring at me." He groaned as he rolled over and sat up. 

Cas looked hesitant, "Sam told me to watch you...." He said, making sure not to make eye contact. 

Dean rolled his eyes, "I'm sure he didnt mean that literally." He said as he pulled some jeans on and took off his shirt so he could change it. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel freeze, unsure of what to do or where to look. 

"Relax, Cas." He said while pulling a new one over his head. "I'm still me. You've seen me naked before, haven't you?" Dean said, winking. 

Cas nodded, but still looked incredibly awkward, "You confuse me, Dean." 

He let out a small chuckle, "Yeah? I've been confusing myself quite a bit lately, so welcome to the club."

"Are we going to talk about this?" Castiel said, standing up and finally looking Dean straight in the eye. 

Dean gulped, knowing this was about the kiss this morning, but not ready to confess his feelings quite yet, feigned ignorance.

"Talk about what?" He said, his voice low and shaky as he tried to find some way to occupy his hands. 

"Look at me, Dean." He said, with an intemsity that was not as his friend Cas, but as Angel of the Lord, Castiel.

He hesitantly looked at him. 

"You kissed me." He said, not breaking eye contact from Dean. "Why?" 

Dean bit his lip and shrugged. "I...I dunno, Cas. I just did."

"...And then you apologized. When I showed no feelings of displeasure."

"You...what?" Dean asked, dumbfounded. Was Cas really saying what he thought he was?

Castiel moved closer to Dean, cupping his cheek in his hand nd before Dean could think about it, the angel was kissing him. Not a soft, chaste kiss like they shared this morning, but a deep, passionate kiss that held all the frustration and feelings they'd been holding in for years. 

Cas finally pulled away, breathing heavily as he pressed his forehead against his. 

"Dean. If you are acting on these feelings solely because of you currently being a female, I suggest you tell me and back out now." He said, his voice deep and gravely. 

"Cas...no. of course not, I-" He was cut off by a gentle, yet chaste kiss. 

"I know, Dean. I can see your soul, remember?" Cas said with a shy smile as Dean's breath was literally taken away. "I love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

"Fuck, Cas. Fuck!" He swore, as he felt the angel's hands adeptly roam his body. And Castiel was supposed to be a virgin? Dean couldn't even imagine how amazing Cas would be after he's had experience. 

He felt Cas' hard dick, pressing up against his hip as their bodies were crushed closer together and Dean felt an unfamiliar wetness between his legs. He had no idea what he was doing. 

Panicking, Dean pulled back, gasping for air. "Cas-" 

"Don't you dare." Cas growled, a predatory look on his face, "We are not going to do this again Dean. I love you, you love me. No more dancing around this." 

"Cas, that's not- I was just going to say," he took a breath, "I'm, well, this body, is a virgin..." 

Cas pulled Dean flush against him again, "Then we'll figure it out together." He said, kissing his neck.

Dean let out a soft moan, "Okay. Okay, man. Just ...we're wearing too many clothes." He said, completely breathless as he was having trouble speaking. He could feel heat pooling in his belly and was amazed at how turned on he was getting just from kissing.

In a blink of an eye, Castiel poofed their clothes to God knows wear and they were both falling onto the bed. As much as Dean wanted to take it slow, there was years worth of sexual tension being released and he didn't think either of them were capable of taking it slow; they would have plenty of time for that later. 

Reaching down, Dean palmed Castiel's dick, smirking when he saw the angel close his eyes, struggling to keep himself together. 

"Dean." He said with a low growl as Dean slowly stroked his dick. 

"Dean, stop. I'm not going to last much longer if you continue that." Cas said, taking a deep breath as Dean pulled his hand back.

Hovering over Dean, Cas leaned down and kissed him, before pulling back and looking into his eyes, " Are you ready Dean?"

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but found that he was speechless, so instead he just nodded, getting lost in the angel's vivid blue eyes. 

With one swift move, Castiel was inside him, making Dean gasp out from the unfamiliar, yet pleasurable sensation. Suddenly Dean understood why sex was such a big deal for women; having Cas inside him was the most intimate, unguarded things he had ever done, and he knew for certain this is what love felt like. 

Castiel began thrusting slowly, kissing Dean's face and neck, and Dean could slowly feel more heat building up as his hips met Castiel's with each thrust. 

"Dean." Cas said, his voice slightly panicked and Dean could tell he was close. 

Dean looked into Cas' eyes and cupped his face in his hands, "Its okay, Cas. It's okay. Cum for me." 

As if on command, Castiel moaned, thrusting harder as he began to climax, and doing so set Dean over the edge. 

"Close your eyes. " Cas all but shouted, and barely a second after Dean closed them, he could feel Cas' angel light radiating throughout the room as they both rode out their orgasms. 

"Fuck, Cas. I love you."

"I love you too, Dean."

They collapsed back onto the mattress amd just lay there, catching their breath. They snuggled up together and within minutes they had both fallen asleep.

\-------------------

When he woke up, Dean was alone. Cas was gone and Sam hadn't even come back to the room that night, which he supposed was a good thing, but it still made him worry. Figuring Cas had angel duties to attend to, or hoping it was just that, Dean put off worrying about that for another time.

As soon as he located some clothes, Dean dialed his brother, who, luckily picked up on the first ring. 

"Hey, Sammy, where you at?" 

"Look outside, I'm in the impala." 

Sure enough, when Dean walked to the parking lot, he saw his brother in the front seat. He walked up to the window and pounded on it. Sam opened the door.

"Yeah?" He asked squinting as the sun was shining directly in his eyes.

"Why weren't you in the room last night?" Dean demanded as Sam scoffed.

"Are you kidding me? I've already gotten an eyefull of your tits, there's no way in hell I was going to go in there after Cas angel orgasmed all over the place." 

Dean felt himself turn red, "You...uhh....you saw that?" 

Sam laughed s he watched Dean's eyes go wide, "Who didn't? The people on the news are calling it a freak lightening storm." 

"Well, shit." Dean said, chuckling a little. 

Sam cleared his throat, "So you know, I ...uhh ...I'm happy for you guys." He said, looking away awkwardly.

Dean coughed, "Yeah...uhh, thanks."

"So...where is he?" Sam asked, trying to veer from a conversation that would make them both uncomfortable.

Dean shrugged, "Beats me. Probably angel duties." 

Sam raised his eyebrows but quickly dropped them when Dean gave him a 'shut up before I hurt you' look. 

"Okay, well we have to do this case now," he said, pointing to the missing persons article on his laptop, "They've found a body this time and it doesn't look good. I don't think its a werewolf."

Dean nodded, anything to get rid of that nagging feeling that something was going on with Cas; being a chick for three days was probably enough time to be used to it. He was fairly confident he'd be able to handle any monster he usually could. 

 

The hunt went smoothly and so did the three others they did while they were waiting to hear from Cas. It had been weeks and they hadn't seen him since that night. He would never admit it outloud, but Dean was a wreck and as much as he tried to hide it, Sam could tell. Dean would much rather hunt to keep his mind off everything than have Sam and his stupid "Im sure everything is fine" talks. 

And to make matters worse, Dean was still a chick. They had no idea on how to go by reversing it. On the brightside, being a chick wasn't actually that bad; once he got used to bras and peeing sitting down. 

Dean prayed to Castiel almost every night, begging him to come back. The first week it was lots of swearing and yelling, but after he didn't get an answer, he was convinced Cas had returned to heaven for good this time. He prayed to Cas every time he got a chance, between almost dying during hunts or getting distressed because he had a wicked craving for chocolate, he kept praying. 

It was a saturday morning, five weeks and six days since they last saw him, when Castiel finally showed up. Dean had the stomach flu, and was in the bathroom puking his guts out for the third time that week. He had just finished vomiting and rinsing his mouth when he saw Cas sitting on his bed. 

"You son of a bitch." Dean spat, marching up to Cas so he could punch him. 

"Dean, stop." He said, his voice sounding exhausted. 

He considered ignoring Cas, and hitting him anyway, but the look of exhaustion and dispair on his face stopped him. 

"What is it Cas? Whats wrong?" 

Castiel sighed deeply, "Raphael is trying to restart the apocalypse." He said furrowing his brow, "I've been trying to stop him." 

Dean swore, "That son of a bitch. He cant just leave things alone?" 

He shook his head, "Raphael is very....traditional...he doesn't like things deviating from their plans." 

"Well how do we stop him?" 

Cas smiled, "I appreciate the Winchester determination, but I'm afraid we can't. I am not powerful enough." He finished with a frown. 

Dean frowned and tried to think of anything, anything at all that could help, but if they couldn't find a way to just switch his gender back, then how were they supposed to find something to stop a dick archangel?


	7. Chapter 7

"Uhh, Dean...come look at this." Sam said, barely looking up from his laptop as he called his brother....sister....whatever in.

Dean walked into the room with a burger in his hand, "Whatfja fimsh Shammeeh?" He asked, with his mouth full, making Sam want to gag right on the spot. 

"Dude! Gross!" He said, exasperated and shaking his head. "Finish chewing and come look at this."

Grinning when his brother got disgusted, Dean came over to see what Sam was looking at. It was two news articles from a town not to far from they were, the headlines reading, "Serial Rapist hung by Genitals", and "Racist football coach burned on crucifix in KKK uniform". 

Dean raised his eyebrow, "How's this our kind of thing?" 

Sam huffed and pointed to a certain spot on the page, "You we're supposed to read the article, not just the titles; but look at this." 

Dean read it and scoffed, "Seriously? 'Only evidence found at the scene were a bunch of candy wrappers', You'd think by now he'd be better at picking up after himself." He said as he shook his head. Fucking Gabriel, he swore to himself.

Sam looked over at him questioningly as he walked to the fridge to get a beer, "So, what, should we summon him?" He asked. 

Dean took a large gulp and shook his head, "Nah. We'll just call him. If he's leaving wrappers everywhere, maybe he wants us to find him." 

Sam looked skeptical, but Dean had already made up his mind.

"Uhh, Gabriel? Big archangel, trickster, dick, can you fly your ass over here?" Dean looked around the room expectantly nd shrugged, "Well, it was worth a shot." 

Sam laughed, "I could've told you that wouldn't work!" 

"Now, why would you think that?" A sly, mischevious voice from the other side of the room as it stepped out from wjere it was hiding. Gabriel grinned at the both of them while sucking on a lollipop. 

Both the Winchesters glared at the angel. 

"Now, now boys, or should I say boy and girl," he said, chuckling, "there's no need to be hostile. And can I say, Dean, looking good." 

"Oh, bite me." Dean spat, angrily.

"I would, but I'm here on strictly business," Gabriel said with a big grin, "Unless of course, you two called me here for pleasure?" At the look of horror on their faces he added, "I thought not." 

"Why are you killing people again?" Sam demanded, standing up and crossing his arms, looking somewhat disappointed with the angel.

Gabriel smirked, "Oh Sam, I love it when you take charge like that." 

Pursing his lips, Sam looked down, suddenly embarrassed. 

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel scoffed, "You guys are no fun. And I was trying to get your attention...duh!" 

Sam furrowed his brow, "Why?" 

"You need my help." Gabriel said, smiling like he knew some big secret that they didn't. 

Dean laughed, certain this was all a ruse to fuck with them again, "Really? Why would we need you? All you've ever done is caused us problems, so you can take your 'help' and --- "

"Dean, let him finish." Sam said, interrupting him and rolling his eyes when he saw Dean's angry expression. 

Gabriel smirked at Dean, then looked over to Sam, "Anyways, you need my help, because one, your brother is a chick, and two Castiel doesn't have the big guns to take out Raphael." He said, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth. 

"What's in it for you?" Dean grunted suspiciously, knowing that no angel ever did anything out of "the goodness from their heart".

Gabriel laughed, "You're right, angels rarely do anything just because, but I am. I need to redeem myself as an angel." He said, looking back over at Sam. 

"Dude, why are you looking at my brother like that? Stop it!" Dean demanded, when he saw what looked like Gabriel eye-fucking his brother. Maybe it was just how angels looked at humans...but then again, that's he way Castiel looked at him and Cas didn't look at any other humans like that.

"Sorry. He's just so.....yummy!" Gabriel exclaimed as he walked over and gave one of Sam's biceps a squeeze. Sam's eyes went wide as he looked over at Dean with a "what the hell do I do" look on his face.

Dean cleared his throat, "Well if you really want to help us, turn me back into a dude and then we'll get started on this Raphael shit." 

Gabriel laughed, "Oh if only it were that easy. How long have you been a woman, Dean?" 

Dean looked over at Sam, who just shrugged back at him, not knowing where this was going either, "Uhh two months, why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"And you haven't bled at all....down there...have you?" Gabriel was still smirking as he gestured downward to Dean's crotch area. 

"No..." he said, frowning. Why would he----- ohh, right. Periods. Thank God he didn't have to deal with that.

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel huffed, "You are about as dense as a brick wall. You're pregnant." 

Dean's body went rigid and Sam had a look of sheer horror on his face. "What." Dean growled out between his teeth. 

"You're pregnant. Knocked up. Got a bun in the oven. You know, that whole deal." 

Sam looked between Gabriel and Dean, "You suck at this."

Gabriel looked at him questioningly.

"Telling women they're pregnant! Is this how you told Mary she was pregnant with Jesus?" Sam asked, exasperated.

Laughing, Gabriel shook his head, " Not really. She did take it way better than he is," he said, gesturing to Dean, who looked like he was about to pass out, "She was a virgin and she took news that she was pregnant way better than Dean here." 

Sam chuckled.  
"Well she was a woman at least, Dean is...well...he might be a woman now, but this stuff isn't supposed to happen to him"

"Stop!" Dean yelled at the both of them, irritated that they were talking about him as if he wasn't there. "This. This is not happening. I am not pregnant." He said angrily before walking out of the room so he could be alone. Dean could feel his chest constricting and he was going to start hyperventilating soon if he didn't calm down.

How could this have happened? He was a dude. Dudes don't get pregnant. He didn't think he was an actual 100% chick, especially one that could get pregnant. What was he even supposed to do now?


	8. Chapter 8

Dean could feel himself start to breakdown. "No." He said angrily outloud to himself. Just because he was a girl, it didn't mean he had to act like a girl. He needed to call Cas; Cas would fix this. He'd tell him Gabriel was just playing a joke; yeah, that's it, Gabriel is just being an ass and freaking him out for no reason, Dean was sure of it. 

But what if he wasn't.

"Fuck." Dean swore, kicking the side of the curb out of both frustration and nerves. 

"Cas?" He began, trying to find words that would guarantee Castiel's arrival immediately. But he didn't have to; almost instantly, Dean heard the familiar fluttering of wings that signaled Cas' arrival, and Dean's entire face lit up. 

"Cas." Dean breathed out as Cas walked up to him, grabbed his jacket collar and kissed him. "Wha--?" 

"I needed that after the day I've been having." Castiel growled, "Heaven is.... what you would call 'a madhouse'"

Dean felt a lump forming in his throat; he suddenly wasn't sure he should tell Cas about what Gabriel said. Especially if he was already having a rough time. Would it really hurt to wait a week or two before telling him?

Dean cleared his throat, "That bad, huh?" He said, scratching the back of his neck. 

Cas nodded, "What did you call me for Dean? I got the feeling that it was urgent." 

Shrugging, Dean made up his mind, "I ..uhh...well it's not important, I just...I just wanted to see you." He said, biting his lip, hoping Cas couldn't tell he was hiding something from him. 

Cas smiled, "I missed you too, Dean." He said, cupping his cheek in his hand and softly kissing his lips again. 

"Then don't stay away for so long." He pleaded, then cringed when he realized how he sounded. God, when did he start actually sounding like a freaking girl?

Sighing, Castiel pulled away from Dean, "I have to. Someone needs to stop Raphael, otherwise everything we did last year, stopping the apocalypse, me rebelling, that would have been in vain." He said, staring down at Dean with his deep blue eyes. 

"What about Gabriel?" Dean asked, forgetting for a moment about the whole Gabriel telling him he's pregnant thing, "He can stop Raphael." 

Castiel looked at Dean as if he had brain damage, "Lucifer killed him, remember?" 

"That's what I thought, until he showed up in our room." 

Cas lookes skeptical, "He's there now?" 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, or at least he was when I left half an hour ago. I'm sure he's gone by now." 

Castiel nodded briefly before opening the motel room door, looking around and saying, "He's not here." 

Sam looked up from his laptop, "Gabriel? He was though, he said he'd drop back in a week or two." 

"Where did he go?" 

Sam shrugged, "Don't know. He just said he'd be back." 

Dean stood in the doorway avoiding the concerned looks that Sam kept shooting at him. Luckily, he was sure that Sam got 'Cas doesn't know yet, so don't tell him' from that because he just kept talking, discussing what he and Gabriel found while Dean was outside trying to pull himself together.

Sighing, Castiel turned to Dean, "I have to leave. I'm sorry."

Dean scoffed, "You're sorry? You just got here. What if we need you, man?"

"Just pray, and I'll be here." He said, before shyly leaning over and kissing Dean on the cheek. Cas nodded over at Sam and then he was gone.

 

Seeing Sam's raised eyebrows and confused expression, Dean coughed awkwardly and looked down, "So...uhh..." 

"So you're pregnant?" 

Well Sam sure doesn't beat around the bush now does he? Dean had wanted to postpone this conversation to...well, never, but he supposed it would have to happen now.

Dean shrugged, "I guess."

Sam crossed his arms, "Well...uhh...how did it happen?" Seeing the look on Dean's face he quickly elaborated, "Like...I mean you've never gotten a woman pregnant...so I mean, did you use protection?" 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah, we used condoms, Cas just has celestiel sperm that can break through anything. No, we didn't use protection! I didn't even think I was a real chick, let alone that I was going to have sex with Cas!"

"Why didn't you tell him?" 

Shrugging, Dean crossed over to the fridge to get a beer, before realizing he couldn't drink. He swore and kicked the fridge.

"I was going to but you know....he was having a bad day nd it just didn't seem like the right time..." 

Sam rolled his eyes, "You need to tell him, before he finds out."

"I will."

Dean had nightmares that night, he was tossing and turning and calling out for Cas in his sleep, the next thing he knew he was being woken up, thinking it was Sam, he rolled over and called out, "It's fine, Sammy, go back to sleep."

"I am not your brother, Dean."

Dean shot up in his bed, "Cas?"

Castiel looked hesitant before sitting on the bed next to Dean, "You called me in your sleep... it sounded like you needed help..." 

Dean chuckled, "I'm okay, I'm okay, Cas." He said, leaning over to the angel and putting his arms around him. 

They sat just like that for a while in a companionable silence, Dean trying to work up the nerve to tell Cas about the baby. 

"Umm...Cas?" He said, pulling away and looking up, his mouth becoming dry when he saw the way Cas looked at him. 

"Yes Dean?" He said, not looking away from the hunter.

Dean finally looked away, becoming increasingly nervous again. "I...uhh...I don't know how I'm gonna say this, so I'll just come out and say it, I'm ....uhh....well Gabriel says I'm pregnant..."


	9. Chapter 9

Holding his breath in anticipation, Dean felt Cas go still next to him. Looking over at the angel, he saw that Castiel had gone white and he was staring at Dean, completely dumbfounded. 

"C-Cas?" He pleaded nervously, desperate for a response, it didn't even have to be positive, he just wanted something, "please say something." 

"I- Dean..." he began, looking at him with a painful expression on his face, "This is unexpected." He finally said, folding his hands into his lap nervously in a way that was so human, it surprised him. 

Dean couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, relieved that Cas hadn't flapped off anywhere. "Tell me about it. I've never had to worry about getting knocked up before... I didn't think this could happen." 

"I am not fit to be a father, Dean." 

He huffed and glared at Cas angrily, "No, Cas, you don't get to do that. You're not skipping out on me just because you think you're not good enough." 

Castiel looked down into his hands, "I don't even know how to be human, and you expect me t--"

"Stop." Dean demanded, "I don't expect you to do anything. I have faith that you will help me. You're a smart guy, Cas, I'm sure you'll learn quickly."

The 'have faith' bit seemed to perk Cas up considerably and Dean was very proud of himself for that. 

"So...we're going to do this?" 

Biting his lip, Cas nodded, "You do realize, Dean, that if we find a way to fix your gender, you will have to stay female until the child is born?" 

Sighing, Dean ran his and through his hair, "Yeah, I know." He grunted out, "The baby needs a chance though. I don't want to raise it as a hunter...I just...I want to be a good father. Or mother. Whatever I am." 

Cas smiled and took his hand, "You will be, Dean."

Dean grunted and shrugged, looking away from the angel.

"Dean, look at me." 

Looking over at Cas, he had his breath taken away, Cas was looking at him as if he wanted to eat him alive. His pupils were so dilated with desire, that they were black, not a hint of blue in them. That look alone was enough to make his heart flutter and heat pool in his stomach. 

Before he knew it, their lips were dancing and limbs were getting tangled while clothes were coming off. Cas was kissing him everywhere: face, neck, breasts, and he stopped when he reached Dean's abdomen, his hand splayed over where the baby was.

"What is it, Cas?" He asked in a whisper, just now remembering Sam was still in the room. 

Castiel looked up at him, his eyes blue again, "I can see the baby's soul. It's faint, which is why I didn't notice it right away." He said as he pressed a soft kiss to his stomach before moving back up to kiss Dean's mouth. Butterflies twisted in Dean's stomach again, and his breath hitched every time Cas kissed a new spot. 

"Cas, please." His voice full of desire as he tugged on the back of his hair while still kissing him. 

Before Dean could say another word, Cas was inside him and Dean let out a loud moan. Dean couldn't hold in any of the moans tonight and as Cas began pumping his dick inside him, Dean had to bite his lip to keep the noise down as he came closer and closer to his orgasm.

Castiel was moaning now as well, pumping harder and faster. Knowing it was coming, Dean closed his eyes just as he felt Cas about to cum and then they were both climaxing.

Collapsing on the bed next to Dean, Cas was panting hard, but he had a satisfied smile on his face. 

Dean grinned, "You look happy, Cas."

Looking over, Cas smiled, "I am happy, Dean." 

Leaning over to give Cas another kiss, Dean froze when he saw Sam's horrified face looking at the both of them. 

"Sam!" He said awkwardly as he scooted away from Cas. "Uhh...how much of that did you hear?" 

Looking at him darkly Sam said, "Too much. You're lucky I decided to wait until you were finished to get up. Ugh. I'm going to scrub my ears and maybe bleach them too." He said, walking into the bathroom and slamming the door. 

Dean chuckled, "Whoops."

———

Cas was still with them over the next few days, so Sam got his own motel room every night to avoid a repeat of witnessing their sex. Sam shuddered just thinking about it. He wouldn't deny that he was happy for Dean though. It was about damn time those two got together. 

Dean hadn't really cared that there was a lack of cases lately like Sam did, but then Dean had Cas to keep him company. All Sam had was his right hand and his laptop. 

What he wouldn't give for some news from Gabriel by now. He was tired of waiting to deal with Raphael; he just wanted to get it over and done with. 

As if he read his thoughts, Gabriel was leaning against the table when Sam looked up, causing him to jump, and though he'll never admit it to anyone, squeal like a girl. 

"Heya Sammy." Gabriel drawled, smirking at Sam's dramatic reaction. "Happy to see me?" 

Sam let out a short laugh once he composed himself, "Yeah, actually. You got anything on Raphael yet?" 

"Of course I do!" He said, clapping his hands together. "I've known how to beat him from the very beginning. The thing is...I'd rather not kill him, so we have a bit of a problem there."

Sam raised an eyebrow, "So what are you doing here? How are we supposed to stop him if we don't kill him?" He asked skeptically. 

"That, my abnormally tall friend, is what I've been trying to figure out." 

"So you've found something?" 

Gabriel shook his head and grinned, "Nope." 

Sam sighed, exasperated, "Then why are you here, Gabriel." He said, not even bothering to make it sound like a question. Because it wasn't. Sam wanted answers.

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel pulled out a candybar, "All work and no play, aren't we there, Sammy." He teased. At Sam's unamused look, Gabriel sighed, "Fine, I'm here because I thought we should work together. Any ideas on how to stop Raph without killing him?" 

Sam shrugged, "I don't know, you're the archangel! Why wont you kill him?" 

Gabriel held up a finger, "Ah ah ah. I didn't say that. I said I don't want to." He said, shrugging, "He's my brother. I'd like to avoid killing my family if possible. Thought you'd be able to understand that." 

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly feeling guilty. "Fine. I'm sorry." 

Rubbing his hands together, Gabriel got onto Sam's laptop with an odd determination he had never seen in the archangel, while Sam watched him, admiring his facial features while he worked. Woah. Did he really just think that? No. Definitely not. Time for bed, Sam thought to himself, he knew he must be tired if he was checking out a man, let alone Gabriel.

Standing up, Sam feigned a yawn, "I think I'm going to try and sleep a couple hours. Try not to be too loud." When Gabriel didn't move, let alone acknowledge the fact that Sam spoke, he cleared his throat, "Well, uhh, goodnight." He said, getting into his bed and laying there a good ten minutes before finally checking out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted, I've had the flu for the last week and have only just started to feel well eenough to write again. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Sam woke up a few hours later, Gabriel was gone again, which didn't surprise him. Honestly, he was surprised the archangel had stayed as long as he did. Sighing when he saw that Gabriel had left his laptop open all night, Sam went over and saw that it had been left on gay porn. 

"Oh my God!" Sam yelled, flinching and looking away as fast as he possibly could. 

Apparently, he had been yelling pretty loud because not even a minute later, Dean is bursting into the room, shotgun drawn with a menacing look on his face. Seeing that Sam wasn't in any danger, he put down his gun. 

"What the hell, Sammy?" 

"Fucking Gabriel." Sam grunted out, crossing his arms over his chest. 

A look of disgust came over Dean's face, "Ugh, Sam. Really? I didn't need to know that." 

Sam 's eyes went wide when he realized what Dean was implying, "No! God no, Dean." he said, shaking his head, "he just left that on my laptop." he said, pointing at his laptop where the gay porn was still clearly visible. 

Dean just burst out laughing, "Really Sam? Just close out of it!" 

Sam glared at his brother-turned-sister, "Why don't you? You're the one sleeping with a dude." 

"Hello! I'm a chick, that means it's not gay. Bitch." 

"Jerk. And you're still a dude in your head. You're not going to be a chick forever." 

Shrugging, Dean looked away from his brother, cheeks turning pink. 

Sam raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "Dean?" 

"I don't know, okay." Dean spat out, fidgeting with his nails making it plainly obvious that he didn't want to have this conversation now. 

Rolling his eyes at his stubborn sister, Sam decided they could continue the conversation later and finally went over to his computer to close out of the porn, which he would definitely strangle Gabriel for whenever the asshat decided to return. 

When Sam closed out of the porn tab, he saw that Gabriel had left open another tab as well. It was an ancient Nordic spell that would bind an archangel's power, basically making them human. 

"Dean come look at this." 

"Dude, there's no way I'm going to check out any porn that Gabriel is interested in. You couldn't pay me to do that." Dean said, leaning on the side of the counter in the mini kitchenette the room had. 

Not bothering with any witty quips like he usually would, Sam just shook his head, "No, I think Gabriel actually did help us." 

Intrigued, Dean came over to see what he was talking about. 

"Dude, do any of these ingredients even exist anymore?" Dean asked as he read over everything needed for the spell. "Holy shit, unicorn horn? I thought those were a myth?!" 

Sam shrugged and shook his head, "I guess not?" 

"Huh. Well let me go get Cas, see if he knows how to get any of this shit." 

Sam nodded while he read over the spell's ritual and he froze when he saw what was required for the last part. 

"Sacrifice of a Nephilim infant: The blood of a Nephilim infant must be mixed with the ingredients and set fire as the last of the incantation is being uttered and the archangel which is being bound must be soaked in it." 

Nephilim. A cross between an angel and a human. Dean and Cas' baby. He already knew that Nephilim were extremely rare, angels usually thought themselves superior to humans so there was probably only one or two every century, maybe less. 

Dean would not take this well. 

Maybe Dean didn't even have to know, at least not right now. They still had time to find a different solution. 

Fuck. 

Sam was panicking. 

"Gabriel? Can you get down here please?" he prayed, hoping the archangel would arrive before Dean came back with Cas. 

When he didn't see Gabriel, Sam got really pissed. 

"Dammit, Gabriel!" He swore angrily, "You can't just leave gay porn and the fact that you want to sacrifice a baby, no not a baby, Dean's baby, my niece or nephew, just because you don't want to kill your brother and not show up!" 

Just as he was about to punch the wall, Sam heard the familiar flutter of angel wings enter the room. 

Gabriel stood by the door, not in his usual, arrogant way, but his hands were in his pockets and he looked a bit regretful. 

Glaring, Sam growled out, "We need to talk." He strode up to Gabriel very angrily, and pushed him up against the wall. "There is no way we're doing that spell, Gabriel. No fucking way. You are going to kill Raphael and that's that. Was this some sort of sick joke? Do you think this is funny?!" 

Gabriel looked up at Sam in annoyance, "how about you hear what I have to say before you jump to conclusions, hmm?" he said, removing Sam's hands from his chest and moving away from the angry hunter. 

Sam seemed to calm down a bit, not much, but enough that he didn't have an urge to kill Gabriel right that second. 

"First off, I left earlier to retrieve the ingredients for the spell, which by the way, was not easy. Travelling back in time to find the last unicorn? That was a doozy." he said, chuckling a bit, and quickly stopped when he saw how angry Sam still was. 

"anyway, I asked some of the Pagan Gods, specifically the creators of this spell, if there was a substitute, because I knew you guys would be against sacrificing the Nephilim, aaaaaand there's nothing, just as I suspected." He said, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out through his nose. 

"I hadn't returned yet, Sam, because I was going to make a trip to my secret alone place to prepare myself to murder my brother." 

Seeing the look of fear, anger, and regret on Gabriel's face, Sam suddenly felt extremely guilty, "Gabe... Gabriel... I don't know what to say.... I'm sorry." 

"You don't have to say anything, Sam -O," he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he flopped himself down on Sam's bed. 

_______________________

"Hey, Cas." Dean said, nudging his shoulder a few times to wake him up. Smiling when his eyes fluttered open, Dean gave him a quick peck on the lips, "I thought angels didn't sleep? Or did I wear you out last night?" he teased as Cas yawned and gave a sleepy chuckle. 

"I don't get worn out Dean," he said with a fond smile, "but you know that." 

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled at his boyfriend. Boyfriend. Cas was his boyfriend and Dean couldn't be happier. 

"C'Mon, Cas, Gabriel found this spell that can help us with Raphael, and it calls for some weird ingredients" 

Nodding, Castiel got out of bed and they went over next door to Sam's room. When Dean opened the door, the tension was so thick, he could cut it with a knife. Gabriel was on Sam's bed, staring up at a very nervous looking Sam. Deciding to help his little brother out, Dean cleared his throat, "Are we interrupting?" he asked, smirking at the embarrassed look on Sam's face. 

Not waiting for a reply from Sam, Dean turned to Gabriel, "So, wanna tell Cas about this spell you found?" 

Dean knew something was up when he saw Sam shaking his head and trying to hush Gabriel when he was about to tell them. He was certain Gabriel would tell them anyways because he never did what anyone told him to, but to his surprise, Gabriel gave Sam a slight nod before looking back over to the rest of them, "I lied, it's not a real spell, I was trying to trick you. Trickster part of me couldn't help it." He said, hopping up from the bed, shrugging. "I found nada, so excuse me while I leave to practice killing my brother." 

Without another word, Gabriel was gone, leaving Dean and Cas confused as hell and Sam just looked extremely relieved.


	11. Chapter 11

Narrowing his eyes at the spot Gabriel just vanished from, Castiel turned to Sam. "Sam, why was Gabriel lying to us?" 

Sam looked away quickly and shrugged, "Beats me, who knows what he even thinks about half of the time? He left gay porn on my laptop." 

Not convinced in the slightest, and now thoroughly convinced that they were hiding something from them, Dean glared at his brother and raised his voice, which in all honesty, didn't do much with his softer female voice, but it made him feel more threatening and that was the point. "Bullshit, Sammy, tell us what's going on." 

Sam finally looked over at Dean, and Dean could see the same look that he got in his eyes whenever Sam was in danger. Protectiveness. 

Dean's eyes softened as he lowered his voice, "Sam?" he asked, barely above a whisper, staring to get a bit worried, knowing that it had to be serious if Sam didn't want to tell him. 

Sam came over to Dean and put his hand on his shoulders, "It'll be okay. Trust me. Just trust me, okay?" He asked, with a small smile. 

Even though Dean wanted nothing more than to demand to know what was going on, the look of determination and protectiveness in Sam was enough to make Dean back down for now. 

"This conversation is not over." he firmly said to Sam and his brother nodded in relief. 

Looking over at Cas and the questioning look on his face, Dean nodded, "It's alright, Cas. Give us a moment?" 

Nodding, Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean on the check, "I need to make an appearance in heaven about now anyways." When he saw Dean's eyes widen in fear, because of how long Cas was gone last time, he just smiled. "I won't be gone long, Dean. I promise." 

"You better not be." Dean growled, pulling Cas in and kissing him on the lips, not wanting to let him go. He cherished the feel of the angel's lips against his, and just like every other time they kissed, Dean forgot where they were and it was just the two of them. 

Breaking apart after he heard Sam cough awkwardly behind them, Cas left, leaving Dean alone with his brother. 

"You sure you don't want to tell me what's going on, Sammy?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets, hoping to keep the conversation away from him and Cas. 

Nodding, Sam leaned up against the wall, "Yeah... Uhh... Gabriel is taking care of it so it's not really a thing to worry about." 

Dean raised an eyebrow, "What I don't understand, is why all of a sudden Gabe is willing to kill his brother, when just yesterday he was completely against it. How do we know he can be trusted, Sam?" 

Sam sighed, "We Can't, okay? But he's really all we've got right now, Dean. We don't really have a lot of options here." 

Dean nodded in agreement, "I'm going back to my room." he said, heading towards the door, "this whole 'being knocked up' deal is exhausting." 

Nodding, Sam went back to his laptop, most likely to do research, and Dean couldn't help roll his eyes as he left. All he had to do was mention anything 'woman' related and Sam would get uncomfortable. It was hilarious.

Laying down on his bed, Dean sighed a bit as he caught a whiff of Cas' scent on the pillow. God, he was such a girl, he thought as he rolled over to face the wall. 

Truth was, he wasn't sure if he minded anymore. He liked being a chick. It actually made things easier for him in a way. He still hated having to pee sitting down, and not being taken seriously because of his tits, but other than that, it was nice. Sex was especially nice. He'd always thought that it was a myth that orgasms were better for women; boy was he wrong. 

Realization hit him like a bucket of ice cold water. He didn't want to go back to how he was. Dean wanted to stay a chick. 

Fuck. 

He felt awkward just for thinking it. What would Sam think? More importantly, what would Cas think? Sure, they were together now, but that was under the assumption that he'd be back to normal soon. Cas fell in love with the man, Dean Winchester, not the chick who didn't even know how to be a woman. 

He fell asleep worrying about these things, trying to figure out a way to tell both Cas and Sam; so when he got woken up a few hours later, he still felt like he hadn't slept for weeks. 

Cas had returned and he had gotten into bed next to Dean, which was what woke him up. 

Opening his eyes and squinting, Dean smiled at the angel staring at him. Yes, staring, but he'd gotten used to it. 

Leaning over, Dean softly kissed Cas on the lips and when Cas didn't kiss him back, Dean pulled back with a questioning look on his face. 

Looking at Cas, he saw his sullen expression and he looked like he wanted to tell Dean something important. 

Dean frowned, "What is it, Cas? What's wrong?" 

Cas looked at him for a moment before he finally answered, "heaven...has given me an ultimatum it seems." 

"What does that mean?" Dean asked, not liking the direction this was going. 

Frowning, Cas looked away, "To most angels, Nephilim are considered abominations." 

"Not to you?" 

To Dean's relief, Cas shook his head, "No, not to me. If it were an abomination, my father would not have made it so we could procreate with humans. I've been ordered to destroy the infant, Dean." 

Dean found that he couldn't breathe, "W-what? No. " he growled angrily, instinctively clutching his abdomen. 

Cas put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug, "If you would let me finish, Dean. I was going to say that I wasn't going to follow through with this order. It's our baby, Dean. I could never kill anything that's a part of you." 

Putting his forehead against Castiel's, Dean was able to breathe a bit easier after hearing that. "What are they going to do to you?" 

Pulling back, Castiel looked very upset again, "They said I had until the baby was born to destroy it or my powers wouldn't return. I'm falling, Dean" 

Pulling Cas to him, Dean put his arms around his neck and leaned into him,"Can't Gabe help?" 

"It is possible." 

"Then we'll just have him help. It'll be okay, Cas." He said, gently kissing Cas on the lips for reassurance. He cupped his face with his hands and łooked into the eyes that he so often got lost in. 

"I love you, Cas." 

"I love you too, Dean."


	12. Chapter 12

Gabriel had been gone for months and it was really starting to get to Sam. Dean was due in two months and the closer they got to the due date without hearing from Gabriel, the more worried Sam got. And as thick as he was, even Dean was starting to take notice. 

But how could he not? Sam was barely sleeping and spending most of his time researchingaan alternative; he looked like Death had got ahold of him. 

It was after Sam, Cas, and Bobby got back from taking down a pack of skin walkers that he first brought it up. Sam and Dean were in Bobby's kitchen while everyone else was watching TV. 

"Uhh... Sammy?" 

Sam looked up questioningly from his beer, which he hadn't been drinking, but staring at the same spot on his label for the last five minutes. 

"Dude, what's going on?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of Sam as he watched the emotions play clearly across his face. 

Sam shook his head, "I'm fi--" 

"Bullshit." Dean interrupted angrily, "You haven't been fine for months. Tell me what's wrong." 

Sam took a swig of his beer and once he swallowed it, he finally opened up, "Gabriel's been gone for months." 

Dean raised an eyebrow, "You sweet on him or something?" 

Shaking his head perhaps a little too quickly, which, luckily for him, Dean didn't notice. Sam sighed, "We can't beat Raphael without him." 

Dean shrugged, "Sure we can. We have that spell that he says is bogus, which I'm pretty sure it's not."

Deciding he's probably waited long enough to tell Dean the truth, Sam puts his beer down before he speaks. 

"We're not using the spell, Dean." 

"Why the hell not?" 

"Did you even read the ritual, Dean? What the last part requires? We'd have to bleed out a Nephilim infant, Dean. Do you know how many of those exist? One! And it's currently in your stomach." 

Sam's stomach clenched when he saw Dean go white, "What - this... This is.... Why didn't you tell me, huh? I think I have a right to know." 

"Because when I first found out, you had literally just found out you were pregnant." 

"I still deserved to know. Cas deserved to know. Did Gabriel know about this?" Dean spat angrily. 

Bobby came into the kitchen when he heard their raised voices, "What the hell are you girls bitching about in here?" 

"Oh, I don't know. Just Sam neglecting to mention that my baby is the only thing that can stop the apocalypse." 

Sam glared at Dean, "and this is why I didn't tell you! You don't need to get all worked up over it. I have it under control." 

Dean laughed hysterically, "Oh do you? Is that why we haven't heard from Gabriel in months?" 

Bobby put a hand on Dean's shoulder, "You should calm down, it isn't good for someone.... In your condition to get this worked up." he said gruffly, as Sam nodded. 

Dean pulled away, "I am calm." he said, pointing a finger at Bobby. "Where's Cas?" he demanded, with his hands on his hips and his very pregnant belly protruding outward. 

"Hell if I know what the angel's up to these days." Bobby said, thoroughly exasperated as Dean stomped out of the room looking for him. 

Sam looked up apologetically at Bobby, "You can't tell me you would've told him something like that right away." 

"No, but I would've told him after getting him pie and a milkshake. Seriously boy, have you learned nothing? Even if she's your brother, you don't want to mess with a hormonal woman." he said, getting himself a beer from the fridge. "You might want to get on that unless you want to get yelled at again." 

Sighing and burying his face in his hands, Sam agreed and left to go get some chocolate and pie before his brother-turned-sister exploded at him again. 

\-----------------------

"What the hell." Dean muttered after searching the house and not finding Cas anywhere. It was odd... Cas didn't really ever leave anymore without telling him he was leaving. And this... This was suspicious. 

Sitting down on their bed in Bobby's guest room, Dean decided he'd wait for Cas. 

Minutes turned into hours and by the time Castiel had returned, Dean was asleep. Luckily he was a light sleeper, so he awoke the moment his angel - boyfriend returned. 

"Where've you been, man?" he asked, voice still full of sleep. 

Castiel hesitated, looking as if he was trying to decide whether to actually tell Dean or not. Unfortunately for Castiel, Dean noticed. 

Sitting up in the bed, Dean glared at the angel, "No, Cas, we are not doing that. Where were you" he demanded. 

"I - I was talking to Crowley." Cas said, looking away from Dean. 

"You what?" he spat. 

"I overheard you and Sam in the kitchen, Dean. About how our child is the only way to defeat Raphael." 

"So that makes you go see Crowley? Crowley?!" 

"Dean," Castiel said firmly, looking back at Dean, "He has a way to make me strong enough." 

Dean laughed, "Oh and what? It'll cost you your soul? You know as well as I do that demons can't be trusted. Especially not that one." 

Cas looked plainly at Dean, "I don't have a soul, Dean. And no, all I have to do is help him find it." 

Dean didn't like where this was going at all. "Find what?" 

Cas looked at him nervously for a moment before he finally spoke, "Purgatory." 

Dean's mouth dropped open, dumbfounded. "Purgatory? Like Purgatory - Purgatory?" 

Cas narrowed his eyes, "I can assure you there is only one Purgatory." 

"What will finding Purgatory even accomplish? I mean you find it, then what?" Dean asked, leaning back slightly so he could breathe better. He really hated being pregnant sometimes. 

"Souls are like energy, Dean. If I can consume enough, I'll become stronger than Raphael." 

"Woah woah woah, hold up. You'll be consuming souls? Like people's souls?" Dean asked incredulously. 

Castiel nodded, "Souls are pure energy." 

"Well what happens to these souls if you use them?" 

"They cease to exist." 

Dean couldn't believe what Castiel was talking about doing, "Absolutely not!" He said, getting up from bed and crossing his arms, You're talking about what? Millions of souls? Just blinked out if existence? You're better than this, Cas!"

Castiel glared at him, for a moment reminding Dean that he was an angel of the Lord. "What would you have me do, Dean? Sacrifice our child?" 

"I did not say that." Dean growled, "but there's always another way." 

"Yes, and our 'other way' hasn't been here in months. I don't think Gabriel is coming to help." Cas snapped angrily. 

"You know what? If you're not going to listen to a damn word I say. Screw this. Screw you. Screw you Cas." Dean said, walking out of the bedroom to go downstairs.


	13. Chapter 13

"Fucking hell." Dean swore as he made his way downstairs, taking care to hold onto the banister to keep from falling. 

When he got into the kitchen, luckily it was empty, and Dean headed straight towards the fridge, hoping to find something to satisfy his craving for something sweet. 

He felt like singing when he saw that there was a pie in the fridge. Not just any pie. Apple pie. His absolute favorite. Taking the pie out, he sat down at the table and just started eating it out of the pan and before he knew it, he had broke down into tears. Fucking hormones. 

Maybe it was the joy of having the pie, or perhaps the worry he felt for his child, or most likely the betrayal he felt from Castiel. 

Well Cas hadn't betrayed him, per se, but it sure as hell felt like it. Dealing with the freaking king of hell? Was he high? 

Dean was still crying when Sam came into the kitchen, and knowing that his brother had seen him, he didn't even bother trying to hide it. 

He walked in looking so uncomfortable with the situation that if Dean wasn't in so much distress, he would've burst out laughing. 

Sam coughed awkwardly, "Uhh... Dean? Are.... Are you alright?" 

Looking up at Sam, his mouth still full of pie, and tears rolling down his face, Dean tried to come up with a sarcastic quip like he usually would, but when he thought if nothing, the urge to cry overwhelmed him again. 

"I can't stop crying." he said to Sam between sobs. "I hate being pregnant." he wailed, finally just giving up on the pie and just sobbing into his hands. 

Meanwhile Sam was here, looking like he had just been ordered to sprout three heads. 

"Dude. Why... Just. Dean." Sam tried, awkwardly patting Dean on the shoulder, "Well where did Cas go? He was here earlier. He's good at cheering you up, right?" Sam asked desperately. 

"I don't think Dean wishes to speak to me, Sam." Cas said from the bottom of the staircase, his eyes looking down to the floor, looking just as, if not more, awkward than Sam. 

Sam swore and glared at the angel, "What the hell did you do, Cas?" 

"He's fucking making deals with Crowley." Dean spat, using both hands to wipe the tears from his face. 

"Seriously? What the hell, Cas?" Sam asked, Castiel looking guilty as ever and furious at the same time. 

"I haven't made any deals with anyone, Dean." he growled, coming into the kitchen so he could see Dean better. "I've talked with him. I never agreed to anything." 

Dean stood up as fast as his exceedingly pregnant belly would let him, and łooked at the angel with his arms crossed, "You might as well have. We all know how Crowley is." 

"Yes, Dean, I know." Cas said, "I'd do it again if I had the choice. I'm not letting anyone sacrifice our child, Dean. I'll do whatever I have to." 

"Including getting yourself killed, Cas?" Dean all but yelled, his hands tugging at his hair in distress; he knew he was probably making this into a bigger deal than it actually was, but he didn't really care. "You can't... I can't... I can't... Oh fuck I can't breathe." Dean gasped, unable to finish his sentence. The thought of losing Cas, mixed in with everything else that happened that day, was too much for him to handle. 

Clutching his chest as he fell to his knees, Dean was heaving, his lungs feeling like they were collapsing into his ribcage, "Cas!" He gasped out, before falling to the floor completely. 

Eyes going wide, Castiel rushed to Dean's side, not understanding what was happening, and getting frustrated because his powers weren't strong enough to juDean better. 

"I think he's having a panic attack," Sam said, picking Dean up from the floor and laying him down on the couch. 

"Dean? Dean, you have to breathe." he said calmly, arm around his brother-turned-sister's shoulder. "Come on, deep breaths." Sam said, doing the same as an example. 

Cas stood awkwardly in front of them, wanting to help, but not knowing what to do. 

"Cas, get down here and do this." Sam said, giving Cas his spot. "Dean needs you." 

Castiel obliged, taking off his trench coat and suit jacket, and sat down, taking Sam's place in holding Dean. 

Dean was starting to calm down, his breathing already becoming regular. He held onto Cas for dear life, knowing he should be mortified with everything; having a panic attack, crying, just everything. But right now he couldn't bring himself to care. In that moment he felt safe, and that's all that mattered. 

It was horrible timing, but it that moment, Gabriel decided to appear and too many things happened at once. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Sam demanded while Gabriel said there was no time and grabbed Cas. 

"I need to borrow Castiel, see you guys in a bit." Gabriel said, leaving without explanation. 

Sam swore at the spot where Gabriel just vanished from, and łooked back at Dean, who had been knocked off the couch when Gabriel grabbed Cas. 

Dean didn't look hurt, but he was clutching his stomach in a way that worried him. 

"Dean?" 

Dean looked up from where he was crouched on the floor, his teeth clenched together in what Sam construed as a look of pure agony. 

\----------------------------

Dean didn't think it was that serious when he first felt it. It was during his panic attack and he was mostly focused on not suffocating to really take notice. The second time he felt it was when Cas was holding him on the couch, and it sure as hell wasn't normal. 

He was about to bring it up when Gabriel appeared and took Cas from him. 

He was in premature labor caused by the panic attack and Cas had been taken from him. 

He was going to murder Gabriel. He better have a hell of a good reason for stealing Cas, and even then it wasn't good enough. Granted, Cas wouldn't really be able to help if something went wrong since his powers were nearly gone, all he could do was zap himself places, he couldn't even take Dean anywhere with him anymore. It still would be nice to have him there for emotional support though, even if Cas was oblivious when it came to that. 

Dean gritted his teeth in pain as he felt another contraction coming, surprised that they were increasing in pain that quickly. In all the books he read, they all said the beginning would be slow. Then again, they didn't really have any books on having a half human, half angel baby. 

"Sam. Get Bobby." he grunted, slowly moving himself back onto the couch. 

Sam, who has had way more uncomfortable moments that day than he's had in his lifetime, shut his gaping mouth, nodded and went to find Bobby, leaving Dean alone on the couch. 

Sam returned with Bobby not even five minutes later, and Dean had never been happier to see the two men. 

"We gotta get her to the hospital, Bobby." Sam said, worry etched all over his face. 

"No." Dean gasped, before the older man had a chance to, "We can't. Half angel." he said semi calmly. It had been over five minutes since the last contraction, and Dean hoped that meant there was time. Hopefully by the time it came to have the baby, Gabriel will have brought Cas back. He knew it wasn't likely, but he could hope. 

"Sam, get some pillows and help me prop her up." Bobby said gruffly, as he started to move some of the furniture and helped Dean sit up as Sam put pillows behind his back. 

Brushing off the fact that Sam and Bobby have started referring to him as "her" and "she" after holding out all this time, Dean braced himself as he felt another contraction coming. 

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." he swore as he felt his abdomen tighten more painfully than it had before. He felt as if his entire stomach was going to fall out and implode at the same time. 

Once the contraction had passed, Dean looked up and glared at Sam, who was standing there unhelpfully looking terrified. 

Noticing Dean's look of disdain, Sam clapped his hands together. "Ice chips! Would you like ice chips, Dean?"

Dean glared at Sam in reply, and Sam took that as his chance to escape and get the ice chips. 

Bobby rolled his eyes and sat down awkwardly next to Dean, trying to be supportive. 

"You don't have to stay, Bobby." Dean said, looking up at the older hunter, "Me and Sam, we've got this." 

Bobby raised an eyebrow, "You sure?" 

Nodding, Dean wiped sweat out of his face, "Yeah. Just stay nearby in case... In case something happens." 

"Right." Bobby said gruffly, "You'll do good." He said, slightly patting Dean on the shoulder and going to the kitchen as Sam came back with a bowl of ice chips. 

Sam sat down in the seat Bobby had just left and just put the ice chips down when Dean grabbed his hand for leverage to help bear through the next contraction. 

He'd forgotten how strong Dean was, even as a woman; he had to keep himself from swearing as Dean squeezed and screamed through the contraction. Sam knew the labor probably wouldn't last long, judging by how fast the contractions were now coming. 

"Fuck. I'm gonna kill Cas." Dean swore as the contraction pains receded, letting go of Sam's hand, no doubt a bruise would show up there later. 

"Ahhh." he screamed, as he felt another, much stronger contraction creep up not even a minute later. Dean threw his head back in pain as he grabbed onto Sam's already bruising hand. 

"Come on, Dean, breathe. Just breathe. You're doing good." Sam said, finally getting past the weirdness of the situation and kicking into first aid mode. 

Sam had learned a lot about child rearing in the last few months, and although he had no practical experience, he knew what needed to be done. He'd also had Cas read the books with him so he was just as knowledgeable as he was. 

Mentally preparing himself, Sam knew what he had to do, and he knew if he asked Dean first, he wouldn't let him. 

As Dean came down from the contraction, Sam moved in between his legs, and wasn't surprised when Dean tried to kick him in the face. 

"Dude! What are you doing?!" He screeched as Sam pushed his legs apart. 

"I need to see how far along you are. You can't push if you aren't ready." Sam said, reaching a hand up to check how dilated Dean was. 

When he realized what Sam was doing, Dean started flailing.

Sam lifted his head up and glared, "If you don't let me do this, you're going to make this harder on yourself!" He said firmly, almost yelling, "You think I like having a hand up your fucking vagina? I'm doing what needs to be done. We can both kill Cas and Gabriel when they get back." 

Preparing to argue again, Dean stopped when he felt the contraction pains starting to increase again. 

Sam quickly pulled his hand out of Dean, and łooked at his brother-turned-sister nervously, "You're not dilating at all, and you should be at around 9 or 10 centimeters by now, with how close your contractions are. We need to take you to the hospital, Dean." Sam said, holding onto Dean's hand again as he gritted through another contraction. 

"I said no." Dean said as he struggled to catch his breath after a particularly painful contraction, "My baby isn't human, I don't even know what angel babies look like. What if it's born all glowy and shit?" 

"What the hell do you want me to do, Dean? I'm not cutting you open, no way!"

Dean moaned as he felt the pain coming again, "Just.. Wait a bit longer. Get Bobby. Cas. Fuck, Cas I need you here now!" He shouted, crying as the pain started to get unbearable. He knew something was wrong, that he probably wouldn't make it, but if they could just save the baby. 

"Dean." 

Dean was in too much pain to look up, but he heard that voice. The glorious, glorious voice of his angel. And it was the last thing he heard when he went unconscious from the pain.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : The Pandora's box idea I got from last week's episode of Once upon a time and it just seemed like it would fit here.

Archangel or not, Castiel was about to lay waste to Gabriel for taking him from Dean when he needed him. 

"Woah, calm down there little brother." Gabriel said, placing a hand on his shoulder in a way angels did to comfort someone. 

"What are we doing here, Gabriel?" he asked, looking around where Gabriel had brought them. He froze when he saw that they were in heaven. "I shouldn't be here." 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Relax, bro. All you're doing here is helping me with Raphael." 

"My powers are nearly gone, Gabriel... How can I be of any help?" Cas asked, looking genuinely confused. 

"Because we're not here to kill him." Gabriel said, grinning and holding up a little box, to which Castiel's eyes widened. 

"You're going to use whatever is in Pandora's box to defeat him?" he asked skeptically. 

"Nope." Gabriel said, tossing the box up and catching it with his other hand. "It's empty." 

Understanding finally dawned on Castiel. 

"What do I need to do?" 

"Distract him. I've got everything else under control." said Gabriel as he smiled mischievously as he disappeared.  
.  
Taking a breath in a too-human way to calm his nerves, Castiel entered the hall where Raphael was sitting at the throne. Surprisingly, he was alone. 

"Castiel." Raphael drawled, an evil smile creeping onto his face. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" 

Castiel almost panicked, what should he say? What would take all Raphael's focus? 

"I'm giving myself up. I won't kill the infant for you, Raphael." 

Raphael smiled wider, "I knew that would be your reaction, Castiel. Luckily you don't have to do anything." 

Castiel froze, not expecting that reaction at all, and disliking the way Raphael was smiling at him like he knew something Castiel didn't. 

"What do you mean?" Castiel growled, narrowing his eyes. 

"The infant won't survive unless it's born in heaven." Raphael was still smiling. 

Castiel shrugged, "Then I'll just bring Dean here when he goes into labor." 

"You think I'll allow that, Castiel? Actually, I will allow it, but I'll be taking the child once it is born." 

Castiel glared at the archangel, "You will not." 

Raphael laughed, "You have no power anymore, Castiel. You can't do anything." 

With a snap of his fingers, Raphael had Castiel in Enochian chains, keeping him from zapping out. "Also, you should probably know, Dean Winchester is in labor right now. The baby will be stillborn if it is not born in heaven." 

Castiel was frantic. He needed to get to Dean. If Raphael was telling the truth about everything, then that meant he needed to get Dean in heaven and now. 

Raphael grinned bigger when he saw how upset and in distress Castiel was, "Get comfortable, angel. You aren't going anywhere." 

Knowing it was futile, Castiel still tried to get out of the chains. He pulled on them until his wrists were bleeding to the point of him being in tears. It was hopeless. Him and Dean had this one chance at having a family. Just one. Now that the baby would be born Dean would want to be male again. 

Castiel had begun to sob, amusing Raphael even further. 

"I don't know what you see in them, Castiel, the humans. They're so weak. Powerless. Flawed." 

"And that's what makes them amazing." Gabriel appeared right behind Raphael with the box ready, green smoke pouring out of it and surrounding Raphael as he looked at Gabriel in disbelief. 

"Gabriel? You're supposed to be dead!" 

"Well, I'm not!" He said, snapping his fingers, releasing Castiel and turning to him, "Go, I'll finish up here." 

Without waiting for a reply, Gabriel zapped Castiel to Bobby's, knowing that the angel was all out of zapping power now. Castiel was essentially completely human. 

Castiel seemed to have arrived just in time, apparently Dean had been calling him, but without his powers he was unable to hear any if it. 

"Dean." he said, half in horror and half in relief. 

Eyes going wide when he saw that Dean was in fact in labor and had just passed out from the pain of the complications. 

Sam looked at him, "We need to get that baby out of her." 

"We can't. The baby needs to be born in heaven or it won't survive." 

"Well if the baby doesn't come out now, Dean won't survive!" Sam yelled. "Would you rather have Dean and no baby or no baby AND no Dean?" 

Well when Sam put it that way, his decision was easy. Castiel was by no means experienced, but he knew what he had to do to save his lover's life. 

Taking a knife, he carefully cut into Dean's stomach, making sure no stay away from any important organs. He cut into the uterus and removed the child. Sam followed his lead and was stitching up Dean's uterus and stomach before he could lose too much blood. 

Raphael was right. The child wasn't alive. His daughter wasn't alive. 

Castiel gasped as he held the child in a cradle hold and imagined what would've happened if she had survived. Feeling tears come down his face, Castiel brought the baby to a still unconscious Dean. 

Sam had tears coming down his face, his hands covered in blood. "I - I don't think Dean will make it, Cas." he choked out, barely above a whisper. 

Passing the still child to Sam, Castiel began to panic when he saw that Dean wasn't breathing. 

"Sam, Dean isn't breathing." Cas said, knees falling to the floor as he began sobbing. He wished more than anything that he was still an angel; that he could just fix it with a touch like before. 

"Gabriel, Gabriel please." Castiel sobbed as he called for his brother. 

"I leave you alone for five minutes and everyone dies?" Gabriel said as he walked over, trying to ease the tension in the room. 

"Gabriel, save Dean." Cas choked out, having trouble breathing. 

"You need to step back, bro." he said and as Castiel obliged, Gabriel placed his hand at Dean's stomach and he was instantly healed. 

Taking a breath after being dead a couple of minutes, Dean began coughing, his throat dry. 

Castiel was still crying but they turned into tears of joy when he saw that Dean was alive again. 

He clutched onto Dean and didn't want to let go ever again. 

"Cas. Cas, where's our baby?" 

Pulling back, Castiel bit his lip, "She didn't make it." 

"She?" Dean asked, his voice breaking. 

Castiel nodded and Sam came over with the not moving infant. 

Dean looked up to Gabriel, "You brought me back to life?" 

Gabriel hesitated, knowing what Dean was going to ask of him. "Yes." 

"Then why haven't you Saved her yet?" 

"I can't, Dean. Nephilim need to be born in heaven... They need the power of the entire host to be brought to life. I... I can't." Gabriel said, looking down guiltily. 

Of course. He gets to live, but a small helpless infant doesn't even get a chance. He didn't deserve to be alive. 

"Where were you guys then? Why did you have to leave? What was so important that you had to take Cas and leave right when I need both of you? My daughter could have lived!" Dean said, finally breaking down into tears, wanting someone to blame for the loss of his daughter. 

"He took me to help him defeat Raphael, Dean. He won't be a problem anymore." Cas said, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. 

Dean got up from the couch and went to the bedroom where he and Cas had been staying. Tears were coming down his face and before he knew it he was smashing anything he could get his hands on. The lamp he threw shattered against the mirror on the wall and he saw the shattered glass on the floor, and suicide had never felt so appealing to him. 

Everyone was downstairs, no doubtedly giving him space that they thought he probably needed. But Dean didn't want space. He wanted the pain to end. He'd been a lot of pain during his life, but nothing hurt more than losing his child. His daughter. 

His mind was made up.


	15. Chapter 15

Blinking a few times as the sun filtered into the room, Dean groaned and rolled over to go back to sleep when his hand dragged over his now flat stomach and he remembered everything that happened the day before. 

Shit. 

Why was he alive? He felt like he was going to be sick. 

Rushing to the bathroom before he could puke all over the floor, Dean almost fell when he got up. His legs were unsteady and he felt like he'd been to Hell and back... Again. 

Before he could actually fall, he felt strong arms lift him up and help his body to the bathroom and before he could see who it was, he had a feeling it was Cas but he wasn't sure, bile rose to his throat and he just barely made it into the toilet. 

As the queasiness left him, the emptiness and self loathing returned, and it was just too much for Dean to handle. His eyes prickled with warm wetness and before he could stop it, they started to roll down his cheeks. 

Whoever had brought him into the bathroom picked him up again and dragged him back out to the bed helped him in. 

Looking up, Dean saw Cas, and just seeing his face was a huge comfort to Dean. Cas looked exhausted though. There were bags under his eyes, his hair sticking up all over the place, and he just looked very.... Human. 

"Cas." He said, his voice so hoarse and scratchy that it hurt to speak. His voice might've been hoarse, but not too hoarse to notice one important detail. 

He looked down at his chest, and sure enough, Dean's breasts were gone. He rushed back to the bathroom and checked the mirror. He was himself again. 

His heart sunk. Sure, it was great to be back in his old body, but now...now Dean wanted to be a chick. He was so used to being a chick, that this, his old self, just felt weird. Honestly he wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Cas or anyone about him staying like this, so they obviously assumed he would want to be changed back. 

It made him feel even worse.

Being unable to look away, Dean just stared at the mirror for five minutes before a voice startled him. 

"Gabriel changed you back after he saved you." Cas said, leaning on the door, avidly avoiding Dean's gaze. Dean couldn't blame him, they had it great, and now it was going to be weird because Dean was positive that Cas will want to go find an actual woman now. One who can give him a child. One who doesn't break everything they touch. 

Dean felt like breaking down again. The thought of Cas leaving him, right after he lost his daughter, hurt. 

"You don't have to stay." Dean said, holding onto the sink to keep himself steady. "I won't... I won't try to kill myself again." he said in an unconvincing tone that he was well aware of. He didn't trust himself not to hurt himself, but he didn't really care. He'd rather Cas leave now rather than drag it out and make it even more painful. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Dean." Cas snapped. He sounded furious and hurt at the same time. 

Dean finally chanced looking up at the former angel. Castiel was glowering at him. It was just as bad as when he told Cas he was giving himself up to Michael. 

Dean laughed bitterly, "You don't have to stay out of.... Out of pity!" 

Cas grabbed Dean by the scruff of his shirt and drug him out of the bathroom and threw him on the bed. Even fallen, he was a hell of a lot stronger than Dean was. 

Sitting down on the bed next to Dean, Cas had his face buried in his hands. "I lost a child too, Dean." he said, looking up with weary eyes and staring at Dean. When Dean said nothing he continued, "and I almost lost you." he said, his voice hitching at the end as he struggled to maintain his composure, "If I hadn't... If you... Dean, I almost lost you." 

Dean suddenly felt incredibly guilty. "Cas - I... I thought-" 

"You thought I would leave because you're no longer female." 

Dean nodded, his cheeks flushing. He really wished they didn't have to do this feelings thing now, but with everything that happened yesterday, he knew there wasn't really a choice. 

Castiel tilted his head in the All too familiar way he always did, "Angels are genderless, therefore we have no gender preference." 

Dean nodded slightly, feeling incredibly stupid, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He didn't have a legitimate excuse for his actions or thoughts. He was just used to everyone leaving him because he wasn't good enough. But this was Cas. 

Castiel hesitantly took Dean in his arms and just held him; and Dean didn't realize how much he needed it. Feeling Castiel's strong arms wrap around him, his breath hitched and he tried to maintain his composure as he breathed into the angel's neck. 

The gesture was so unsexual, and yet so intimate, that Dean couldn't imagine himself anywhere else. He might be a dude again, and everything might feel so different, but him and Cas... They just worked. 

After everything that happened, he'd never felt safer than he did in Cas' arms.

Dean placed a soft kiss on Cas' neck. When Cas didn't protest, Dean kissed him again, his tongue caressing his neck in between chaste kisses. 

He needed Cas. He needed to know that he wasn't going anywhere. That must've been obvious in Dean's eyes because when he looked up, he saw Cas staring at him in a needy and understanding way.

"Cas." He choked out. How could he have even thought of killing himself, of leaving Cas? God only knows why the angel loved him, but he did. 

"I'm sorry, Cas." He said as Castiel kissed his jaw gently. "I'm so fucking sorry." 

"Hush, Dean." he said, guiding Dean until he was laying down on the bed. 

Dean felt his stomach flutter when he realized this would be his first time having sex with Cas as a man. He wasn't sure whether he was more nervous or more excited, but either way, he knew he wanted, no, needed this. He needed the comfort, the reassurance, the intimacy. 

"Fuck." he said as Cas took all their clothes off and then slowly began to work on Dean, starting with kissing his neck, nipping at his skin, making Dean's cock so hard he was surprised it didn't explode. 

Making his way down his chest, Cas' hand roamed downward and gave his cock a quick tug, causing Dean to gasp. 

"Cas." He moaned, his cock so hard, he wasn't sure how much longer he could last. 

"Shh." Cas said, barely glancing at Dean's eyes before he eyed his cock, looking at it like it was the best thing he'd ever seen. Cas took it in his mouth in one swift movement, causing Dean to almost come then and there. 

Dean moaned, writhing underneath Cas' touch, it was too much, but he wanted more at the same time. 

"Fuck. Cas - I'm not going to last long." 

Cas hummed in acknowledgement around Dean's dick, and before he knew it, Dean was coming into Castiel's mouth. 

Cas smirked, swallowed, and popped off his dick, licking his lips in a way that made Dean's cock twitch, even though it wasn't ready for another round yet. 

Dean was catching his breath before he could lean over and reciprocate, Castiel had straddled him and had his own cock in his hand. Cas was going to jerk off on top of him.

That kinky son of a bitch. 

Cas didn't have to do it for long, because before Dean knew it, Cas was coming on his chest and Fuck, if that didn't make him want to go another round already. 

Cas laid down next to Dean, wiping his chest off with his t shirt and then snuggled up in the crook of Dean's arm. 

They were lying like that for a while before a thought came to Dean. 

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" he asked with his eyes still shut. 

"What did Gabe need you for? Where'd he take you" Dean asked, sitting up on his elbow, facing Cas. 

Cas' eyes opened and he looked at Dean a bit before finally answering, "We beat Raphael." 

Dean grunted in response, not knowing what else to say. 

"Is... Is that bad?" 

Dean shook his head. "No... I was going to yell at Gabe for taking you when I needed you, but you beat Raphael... So how could I be mad?" 

Castiel looked down guiltily, "I wish I could've been there for you, Dean." 

"Don't you start that, Cas. You were doing important things. You're here now, that's what matters. Don't you dare feel guilty about it." 

"Do you feel guilty about it, Dean?" Castiel asked, knowing exactly what the answer was. Seeing the look on Dean's face confirmed it. "If I can't be guilty about it, then neither can you. You couldn't have done it any differently." 

Shrugging, Dean looked away from his boyfriend, still not knowing what to say. 

"So... Uhh... How'd you beat Raphael?" he asked, internally patting himself on the back for a great subject change. 

Cas rolled his eyes, but went along with it none-the-less. "Gabriel found Pandora's box; I just had to keep Raphael distracted so Gabriel could trap him." 

Dean's eyes widened, "that's a real thing? I thought it was, I dunno, a myth?" 

"All myths are based on something that is or once was real." 

"How did Gabriel even find it?" 

Castiel shrugged as he started putting his clothes back on, "I suggest you ask him. He's probably still downstairs." 

Dean nodded and got dressed as well. 

 

__________________________

 

When they got downstairs, Sam and Gabriel were sitting at the table, drinking beers, and talking with hushed voices. Upon seeing their arrival, Sam stopped, looked up, and waited nervously for Dean to start yelling. 

"Hey." Dean said gruffly and went to the fridge to grab a beer. 

Sam glanced at Gabriel who just shrugged. 

Dean leaned against the counter as he took a drink, "Fuck, I missed this stuff." he said, nodding appreciatively at the beer. "

So, Dean... How - "

"I'm not okay, so don't even ask." Dean snapped at his little brother who just nodded. 

"So... Gabe... Story time. Tell me what happened." Dean said, finishing off his beer and grabbing another one. 

Gabriel scoffed, causing Sam to elbow him, "Fine, you get a free pass because of-" Sam gave him a warning look, "Because of what happened yesterday." 

"We beat Raphael, used Pandora's box, and didn't make it back in time. That's basically it." 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Where did you even find the box though? Hasn't that thing been missing for like centuries?" 

Gabriel nodded as he pulled out a Snickers, "Yep. That's why I was gone so long. Tracking that thing down was a bitch. Nearly lost the damn thing 3 times." 

Dean nodded, listening carefully. 

"So i found it, used it on Raphael, came back, saved you twice and restored your manhood." 

"Thanks for... You know.... Saving me." Dean said awkwardly, finishing his third beer. 

Gabriel shrugged, "The first time was a given; the second, well I couldn't exactly leave Castiel a blubbering mess, could I? Speaking of which," Gabriel snapped at Castiel began to glow. 

Castiels eyes went wide, "Thank you, Gabriel." 

Dean and Sam both looked equally confused. "What just happened?" Sam asked, bewildered. 

"I'm no longer human." Cas said, looking at his hands like they were sacred. "Thank you, Gabriel." Cas said earnestly. 

Gabriel shrugged, "In case your righteous man tries to off himself again. Anyway, it's been fun boys, but heaven needs a new archangel in charge." he said before disappearing. 

Castiel turned and łooked over at Dean, "You will not be trying to 'off' yourself again." He growled, using finger quotes as he said off. Dean wanted to laugh every time Cas did that, but knowing how serious he was right now, he held off and just nodded. 

Satisfied with Dean's response, Cas walked over and kissed him straight on the mouth, not caring that Sam was right there. 

"Gross! Guys! Get a freaking room!" Sam said, shielding his eyes and leaving the room as fast as he could. 

Dean chuckled as they kissed and before he knew it, Cas had angel zapped them into their room.

And although Dean still wasn't okay, he knew he would be, as long as he had Cas. 

 

End.


End file.
